the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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