how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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