wrigley field is MILF paradise
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
