I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
