rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
