He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
