You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this just has baby written all over it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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