Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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