everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
