How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
