His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
