Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
