I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize