covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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