My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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