hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
