is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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