why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
