So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
