dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
