i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
