My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
