Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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