y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
