I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
