if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
