even my farts smell like vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
