do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
