Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
