i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
