i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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