after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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