I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
