Christians are straight up FREAKS
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
