The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
