I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
