Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize