Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
did you just send me my own nude
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
