only if we run a train.
done.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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