Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
