I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
