Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
