You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
