bring money and cleavage
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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