carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
