i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
