we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
