I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
