Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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