ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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