And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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