Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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