hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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