I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
