Betty ford says i'm here all night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
