He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
