shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
