If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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