Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
