I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
