Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
