Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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